Amira Ansari Journalism

Peer Edits:

Edit #1
1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
Yes, there is a clear point of view on how they should have healthier lunches at the school cafeteria, and how there is healthy lunches but they are not as appetizing as they could be.
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
Yes, the problem is the food in the cafeteria, and the solution is put healthier fresher fruit and vegetables and less junk food.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
Yes, it could do a little more but it's still fine.
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
I thought it was interesting and I agree with it completely.
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
Yes.
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
Yes, they do a good job showing the idea and it supports the thesis.
7. Is the writing clear?
Yes, it is because it explains exactly how she feels bout it.

Edit #2:
1. Is there a clear point of view? (position)
yes, they are concerned about how safe cars are around them.
2. Does the Op-Ed state the problem and solution simply?
yes, the problem is people don't take enough care of their cars, and something bad could happen while driving no matter how safe you, yourself is driving. and the solution is to take your car in whenever there's a problem with it.
3. Does the piece address the counter arguments?
yes, it does.
4. Is the Op-Ed interesting?
yeah, i thought it was really interesting, because that's something that interests me too.
5. Are the paragraphs organized logically?
yes, the first paragraph explains how her car is safe and how she takes car of it then the other paragraph is hot safe is it really?
6. Does each paragraph develop an idea to support the thesis?
yes, it does develop an idea and they all support the thesis.
7. Is the writing clear?
yes, the writing is very clear. you understand the point she is trying to get at.

posted by Amira @ 10:50 AM